Andrew's shame

During the fall on our semi-annual trip to Arches National Park, Andrew had a moment of three-year-old-ness. Matt told him to "come sit on this rock and hide your head in shame," very tongue in cheek.

Andrew slowly walked over and then dropped his head into his hands. It was so hilarious, we all cracked up. It must have made an impression.

Last night he was having trouble staying in bed. After a few interventions by Matt, he seemed to stay. But,when I went in to kiss him, his head was buried in his pillow, his bum high in the air. I kissed his bare neck, and he turned over. He looked at me sadly and said "I did hide my head in shade 'till you got here."

A kiss, and a hug, and a suppressed laugh later, all was well with Andrew.

Funny Christmas Cards

I thought these cards were pretty hilarious. There are more here.

A Strange Post

Just for some strange laughs...



Via Making It Lovely

How Sister Grinch Stole Sunday

HOW SISTER GRINCH STOLE SUNDAY
by Lisa Elzey
(Our Ward's Roadshow offering)

NARRATOR
Good Evn’ing friends, we welcome the young and the old
The Cedar Hills Sixth Ward has a tale to be told

It’s a tale full of DRAMA, for that’s what we drew
An AIRPORT was another requirement too

REALITY TV is the last on the list
We’ve included them all or at least just the gist

Our story begins on the “island” of Utah

(Survivor music chimes in...)

What happens in Utah midst the Saturday hoopla

But our show’s not Apprentice, nor Gabby Gourmet
Nor American Idol or Project Runway
It’s simply titled “How Sister Grinch Stole Sunday”

It starts in an Airport with a delayed airplane
So grandpa decided to break the mundane

GRANDPA
Here’s one of my favorite stories to tell
It’s written in my journal, but I know it well

(Curtain opens)

GRANDPA
Every member in Utah liked Sundays a lot
But the Nursery leader, Sister Grinch, did not!

For she hated Sundays! The whole weekend season!
Now, please don’t ask why. No one quite knows the reason.

It could be, perhaps, that her shoes were too tight.
It could be that she thought she knew just what’s right.

But I think that the most likely reason of all...
Well, I’ll let you observe and then you make the call...
GRINCH
“Now they’re cleaning their houses...”

GRANDPA
She snarled with a sneer.

GRINCH
“For Saturday’s special! Sunday’s practically here!”

GRANDPA
She glanced at her lesson her mind quickly numbing

GRINCH
“I must find some way to keep Sunday from coming!”

For, tomorrow, I know all the tot girls and boys
Will have gross runny noses and wipe them on toys

A three hour block...Oh the noise, noise, noise, noise!
There’s one thing I hate, All the noise, noise, noise, noise

And they’ll shriek squeaks and squeals, racing round stomping heels
They’ll color in hymnbooks and eat Cherri-o meals!

Then the grown-ups will chat about yesterday’s game

ELDER 1 & 2
“Man, get your head in the game!”

GRINCH
I’ll hear them complain

Then two brothers start punching, though all can see them
As their dad takes them out they’ll yell,

BROTHER 1 & 2
“Carpe Diem!”

GRINCH
The cell phones at church that get signals somehow
When they don’t all you hear is:

YOUTH 1
“Can you hear me now?”



GRINCH
Then they all, young and old, will open a feast.
And they'll feast! And they'll feast! And they'll FEAST! FEAST! FEAST! FEAST!

They'll feast on cheer’ios, fruit snacks, day old PBJ’s
On goldfish and saltines and loud Frito-lays

And then they'll do something I hate most of all!
When three hours is over the tall and the small,

Will re-package their crayons, their Barbies and clothes
They’ll elbow the Bishop who has started to doze

They’ll pack up their quads and their last minute lessons
Finish thinking about their last chatting sessions

They’ll leave church hand in hand as they walk out the door
Reminded...

SISTER SO-AND-SO
...the home teachers are coming at 4.

GRINCH
Then as they walk home, for their houses are near
They’ll open their mouths as they grin ear to ear
And a singing is sung that I don’t care to hear
And they’ll sing and they’ll sing and they’ll sing sing sing sing!

We Love Sunday
(Prelude)
Sunday, Sunday, We love Sunday
Welcome Sunday! Come this way

Families singing, church bells ringing
Smiles and helping hands we’ll be bringing
A great Sunday is in our grasp
So long as we have hands to clasp

Sunday, Sunday, We love Sunday
Welcome Sunday! Come this way
(Fades out)

GRANDPA
(Overlapping with the singing) And the more the Sister Grinch thought of this After Church Sing,
The more the Sister Grinch thought,

GRINCH
"I must stop this whole thing!

(Record scratching sound effect and music cuts out)

Why for so many years I've put up with it now!
I must stop Sunday from coming! But how?"

GRANDPA
Then she got an idea! An awful idea!
Sister Grinch got a wonderful, awful idea!

GRINCH
"I know just what to do!"

GRANDPA
She laughed for a bit

GRINCH
I’ll get my old homemaking scrap-booking kit!

I’ll make a cute flyer with pantookas and bows
Stamps and lace, for with scrapbooking ANYTHING goes!

The flyer will tell them that Sunday’s are done
It’s been cancelled!

GRANDPA
She wrote.

GRINCH
“That will ruin their fun!”

GRANDPA
Then she got something she hadn’t used in years
Her specialty scrapbooking curvy-edged shears

And she cut and she shaped, she made them look stunning

GRINCH
This fancy flyer will stop Sunday from coming!


GRINCH
I’ll stick them on front doors of the houses so quaint
Using tape that when pulled off the door rips off paint!...A Bonus!

GRANDPA
She laughed

GRINCH
What a Great Grinchy trick!
I might even say that my plan is quite SICK!

ENSEMBLE
You’re a Mean One, Sister Grinch! (RAP) 1:36

You're a mean one Sister Grinch
And You really are a Grump.

You're as sneaky as a weasel,
You're as frumpy as a lump

You are never a team player
You’d be fired by Mr. Trump

When rolling down the neighborhood

You're a long crooked street
with an extra speed bump

You're a trickster Sister Grinch.
You have got an evil plan

You-like to spoil happy endings
Step on every crack you can

You just want to spoil Sundays
On the weekend put a ban

Com-pared to you we think we must say

Idol’s Simon Cowell is the World's Nicest Man!

PRIMARY KIDS
You're a mean one, Sister Grinch
You really are a heel
You're as cuddly as a cactus
You're as charming as an eel
Sister Grinch, Sister Grinch

You're a mean one, Sister Grinch
You really are a heel
You're as cuddly as a cactus
You're as charming as an eel
Sister Grinch, Sister Grinch

(Music fades out, ad libs, That’s right...Cedar Hills 6th in the house...etc.)

GRANDPA
So she gathered the flyers and went to each door
But Sister Grinch wasn’t happy, she wanted more

She crafted calendars with each Sunday crossed out
Ward Bulletins giving the announcement more clout

And hand outs in colorful creative papers
With magnets on back to stick-on frigermerators

Emails from the ward website telling all stay home
Make the Young Women leaders have call trees by phone

GRINCH
Then everyone here will know Sunday’s are GONE!

GRANDPA
Then when she was finished with her cancelling work
She heard a loud voice that yelled,

BROTHER or SISTER WHATCHACALIT
“Boy, she’s a...

GRANDPA
Jerking around she heard a voice with a coo
It was Cindy-Lou Who, whose family was new
And everyone knew, that those Who’s loved the U.

(All gasp)

CINDY-LOU
Sister Grinch, Why? Why have you cancelled our Sundays now? Why?

For you’re my fav’rite teacher, but from Nurs’ry I grew
I love going on Sundays so that I can see you!

GRANDPA
And what happened then? Well, in Utah they say
That Sister Grinch’s unkindness went clean away

And then the true meaning of Sunday came through
It wasn’t about wishing the noise would subdue
GRANDPA
Or last minute lessons or the brothers who shove
It was being together in kindness and love

Sister Grinch then apologized and in the end
Everyone in the state was her very best friend!

Even the U-lovin’ Whos, who everyone knew
Although they would lose they refused to wear blue

She’d help families in church who had noisy tots
By bringing church quiet books and small lollipops

Kids that drew in the hymnbooks got an eraser
If a child ran away, she’d help the mom chase her

She loved to see all from the tall to the small
For kindness breeds kindness as a type of cure-all

She became known for her kindness wherever she went
And she, she herself, Sister Grinch was finally content.

That’s the end of the story my sweet little dears
And our delayed plane’s now not delayed it appears

(GRANDMA enters wearing a costume item that associates her with SISTER GRINCH. It is the same actor as SISTER GRINCH and is apparent that GRANDMA was SISTER GRINCH in the story)

GRANDCHILD 1
There you are Grandma! Grandpa if you wouldn’t mind?
Tell her the story of Sister Grinch who’s unkind?

GRANDMA
Oh I know that story. It’s a wise one and true.
I’m so glad he told that sweet story to you

But the plane is boarding, we must be on our way
I’ll have Grandpa tell me the tale some other day

(The children run off and Grandpa puts his arm around Grandma and they exit. Curtain)

END

Motherhood VIII

There are times when parenthood seems nothing more than feeding the hand that bites you.

--Peter De Vries

Scott's humility

A neighbor boy hops in the car for a ride home. Scott starts in,

"How old are you?"

"Four."

"I can run faster than you."

Harry Potter and friends and the mysterious ticking

Thanks to Ana from Choose the Write for posting this awesome little ditty.

Scott's impatience

"Wheeeeeeen are you going to be done?"

"In three minutes."

"But that's almost a whole HOUR!"

Celebrating the Olympics one last time

In case you want to relive a little Olympic gymnastics (1988 that is, and okay, maybe not strictly the Olympics, but some important competition no doubt).



He is honestly really good, it's amazing! Thanks to Luell for sending this one out.

Our own bean stalk

This spring a magic bean stalk grew in our front yard. My grumpily sceptic husband didn't believe and wanted to pull it up. But I insisted, and so up it grew.

The week before we were planning our trip up to find our own golden-egg laying goose, we came home to find it knocked over by some evil spell or perhaps a strong wind. Either way, our dreams of an early retirement are dashed.

The Wilderness Stinks

The wilderness stinks. And I don't mean it's lousy, I mean it smells bad. Don't worry. My husband agrees. Read all about it here.

Good Parental Advice

I just found a little nugget of pure wisdom on Every Day I Write the Book.

It will be February. Things will be bad. You will consider vitamins, glasses, more exercise, more sleep, more chores, less TV, more rules, fewer rules, and organic food. Just wait. Things will get better when the snow melts. This will happen again at the end of summer, and then school will start.

I whole heartedly agree. Today school started, and I'm feeling saner already. And I miss my girls a bit, too. Scott starts next Monday.

Getting dressed

Sometimes getting my kids dressed feels like this.

All right Dawg, check it out.

Check it out baby.
Archie rocks.
I'm sad he lost.
He's got luscious locks.

He should have won,
Simon called a "knockout".
Instead he lost (did I mention that)
what's that all about?

(Sweet rhyming skills,eh?!)

Having never voted EVER, I actually voted for David A. twice Tuesday. I think he is adorable and sweet and so talented. And hey, I wanted the Utah boy to win.

Liver

A few days ago we were talking at dinner about Charity's jaundice. (She never had to have treatment, but was tested with a nasty poke on the foot five times.) We were grateful that her liver was working properly.

Scott asked "What's a liver?"

As Matt and I paused to configure a 4-year-old-level response, he continued.
"Is it what makes you live?"

Classic.

Making the Relief Society is jealous

I heard the funniest radio ad yesterday. Near the end, the ad says something like "Make all the women in your Relief Society jealous!" I laughed so hard.

So here is the question, what do you think the ad was for?

And here is the other question, what do you wish the Relief Society sisters in your ward were jealous of? I realize that this is not a very proper and kindly question, definitely unusual from my pure mouth;-). It is merely an exercise in good wit and a bit of honesty.

So speak up.

Keeping quiet

Yesterday, I fell into bed at the late hour of 10:00, AM. I was tired out from a lousy night sleep and a busy family. I let Scott play on the computer, had Andrew watch him, and snuck off. When I awoke, I snuck into the bathroom for a shower before my kids noticed and waylayed me for another hour or two. It was very quiet out "there" and I thought to myself what good boys I have. I think it flitted through my brain that quiet kids need to be checked on, you know, just in case they are REALLY entertaining themselves. But I pushed the thought aside and assumed the best.

When I got out, I opened my door to see Andrew coming to visit me. He smiled up at me and I got my first glimpse at the blueish-green ring around his mouth. Uh oh, and I followed him into the kitchen.

This is what I found:

Andrew had gotten the cereal out, dumped every last bit of it onto the table and rid it of every single one of its marshmallows. We don't always have marshmallowed cereal for our kids and apparently it was just too much temptation for Andrew to resist. What a rascal!

Guess what Andrew will be eating in church for the next month? Marshmallow-less cereal.

The people are freezing

207 people froze in Grand Central Station. Watch the video here. Totally funny.

Thanks Mom (and Aunt Luell).

Hell froze over

It happened here and here.

Thanks Julie!

Pokeman and 6 kids

My friend at Color Me Red posted about this ebay auction. You have to read it here. It is hilarious.

And can I just say, for 3 solid months while my kids were out of school, I only went grocery shopping maybe twice! (at least with all four of them). I go after 10:00 pm or have my sweet husband pick up yet another gallon of milk and bag of apples on the way home! One of the many blessings of public education.