I write the songs

This morning I burst out in "I write the songs that make the young girls cry." Don't bother to ask why, there would be no answer. The real question is why would someone write this song and be proud about this. I happen to like young girls and I really don't like it when they cry.

Take this morning, for example. Rachel asked if she could take a stuffed bunny to school. I have let her take some small toys for recess before, but this just seemed too fluffy and big. So I said no. Well, that made her cry. "Whyyyyy nooooot?"

So on the way out the door to school she was weepy and a little clingy. Then she started her oft-repeated refrain of "I want to be by you!"

Dawn sweetly explained, "That happens to me sometimes too. Even when I am mad at you, I still want to be by you." But I wasn't upset, I took it as a compliment. I learned this lesson as a young girl when my parents had to occasionally make the hour-and-a-half trek to the nearest Walmart and mall. Parents of large families occasionally need Walmarts and malls, no matter how far away they are. But I didn't like it one bit. They were going to be gone all day long, and so I'd cry. "Please don't gooooo!" But they did, and I survived despite the tears.

But Rachel's tears made me sad, too. So I caved in and offered to drive them to school, rather than have Rachel cry for the next 15 to,say, 983 minutes. It is always a big party when I drive them to school. Both boys come along for the ride, and they all sit backwards and shriek that "we're going backwards! Aaahhh!"

Someone asked if we needed to buckle up because Dad says that it's too far to not buckle. And plus, at least two people have been pulled over in our neighborhood for not buckling up.

But don't you know, there are two reasons I'm driving my kids to school. One, I'm 8 1/2 months pregnant, and two, I'm lazy. If these things weren't true, I'd be walking them the 5 blocks to school instead. And since I'm lazy and very pregnant, I am not going to buckle up 4 kids to make the arduous 5 block journey. Sorry.

So that is why I don't like young girls' crying. I'm lazy and pregnant. They just don't mix. But don't ask about my own crying, that is none of your business because, well, I'm not a young girl any longer. It's not cute.