Wednesday, October 29, 2008

How Sister Grinch Stole Sunday

by Lisa Elzey
(Our Ward's Roadshow offering)

Good Evn’ing friends, we welcome the young and the old
The Cedar Hills Sixth Ward has a tale to be told

It’s a tale full of DRAMA, for that’s what we drew
An AIRPORT was another requirement too

REALITY TV is the last on the list
We’ve included them all or at least just the gist

Our story begins on the “island” of Utah

(Survivor music chimes in...)

What happens in Utah midst the Saturday hoopla

But our show’s not Apprentice, nor Gabby Gourmet
Nor American Idol or Project Runway
It’s simply titled “How Sister Grinch Stole Sunday”

It starts in an Airport with a delayed airplane
So grandpa decided to break the mundane

Here’s one of my favorite stories to tell
It’s written in my journal, but I know it well

(Curtain opens)

Every member in Utah liked Sundays a lot
But the Nursery leader, Sister Grinch, did not!

For she hated Sundays! The whole weekend season!
Now, please don’t ask why. No one quite knows the reason.

It could be, perhaps, that her shoes were too tight.
It could be that she thought she knew just what’s right.

But I think that the most likely reason of all...
Well, I’ll let you observe and then you make the call...
“Now they’re cleaning their houses...”

She snarled with a sneer.

“For Saturday’s special! Sunday’s practically here!”

She glanced at her lesson her mind quickly numbing

“I must find some way to keep Sunday from coming!”

For, tomorrow, I know all the tot girls and boys
Will have gross runny noses and wipe them on toys

A three hour block...Oh the noise, noise, noise, noise!
There’s one thing I hate, All the noise, noise, noise, noise

And they’ll shriek squeaks and squeals, racing round stomping heels
They’ll color in hymnbooks and eat Cherri-o meals!

Then the grown-ups will chat about yesterday’s game

ELDER 1 & 2
“Man, get your head in the game!”

I’ll hear them complain

Then two brothers start punching, though all can see them
As their dad takes them out they’ll yell,

“Carpe Diem!”

The cell phones at church that get signals somehow
When they don’t all you hear is:

“Can you hear me now?”

Then they all, young and old, will open a feast.
And they'll feast! And they'll feast! And they'll FEAST! FEAST! FEAST! FEAST!

They'll feast on cheer’ios, fruit snacks, day old PBJ’s
On goldfish and saltines and loud Frito-lays

And then they'll do something I hate most of all!
When three hours is over the tall and the small,

Will re-package their crayons, their Barbies and clothes
They’ll elbow the Bishop who has started to doze

They’ll pack up their quads and their last minute lessons
Finish thinking about their last chatting sessions

They’ll leave church hand in hand as they walk out the door

...the home teachers are coming at 4.

Then as they walk home, for their houses are near
They’ll open their mouths as they grin ear to ear
And a singing is sung that I don’t care to hear
And they’ll sing and they’ll sing and they’ll sing sing sing sing!

We Love Sunday
Sunday, Sunday, We love Sunday
Welcome Sunday! Come this way

Families singing, church bells ringing
Smiles and helping hands we’ll be bringing
A great Sunday is in our grasp
So long as we have hands to clasp

Sunday, Sunday, We love Sunday
Welcome Sunday! Come this way
(Fades out)

(Overlapping with the singing) And the more the Sister Grinch thought of this After Church Sing,
The more the Sister Grinch thought,

"I must stop this whole thing!

(Record scratching sound effect and music cuts out)

Why for so many years I've put up with it now!
I must stop Sunday from coming! But how?"

Then she got an idea! An awful idea!
Sister Grinch got a wonderful, awful idea!

"I know just what to do!"

She laughed for a bit

I’ll get my old homemaking scrap-booking kit!

I’ll make a cute flyer with pantookas and bows
Stamps and lace, for with scrapbooking ANYTHING goes!

The flyer will tell them that Sunday’s are done
It’s been cancelled!

She wrote.

“That will ruin their fun!”

Then she got something she hadn’t used in years
Her specialty scrapbooking curvy-edged shears

And she cut and she shaped, she made them look stunning

This fancy flyer will stop Sunday from coming!

I’ll stick them on front doors of the houses so quaint
Using tape that when pulled off the door rips off paint!...A Bonus!

She laughed

What a Great Grinchy trick!
I might even say that my plan is quite SICK!

You’re a Mean One, Sister Grinch! (RAP) 1:36

You're a mean one Sister Grinch
And You really are a Grump.

You're as sneaky as a weasel,
You're as frumpy as a lump

You are never a team player
You’d be fired by Mr. Trump

When rolling down the neighborhood

You're a long crooked street
with an extra speed bump

You're a trickster Sister Grinch.
You have got an evil plan

You-like to spoil happy endings
Step on every crack you can

You just want to spoil Sundays
On the weekend put a ban

Com-pared to you we think we must say

Idol’s Simon Cowell is the World's Nicest Man!

You're a mean one, Sister Grinch
You really are a heel
You're as cuddly as a cactus
You're as charming as an eel
Sister Grinch, Sister Grinch

You're a mean one, Sister Grinch
You really are a heel
You're as cuddly as a cactus
You're as charming as an eel
Sister Grinch, Sister Grinch

(Music fades out, ad libs, That’s right...Cedar Hills 6th in the house...etc.)

So she gathered the flyers and went to each door
But Sister Grinch wasn’t happy, she wanted more

She crafted calendars with each Sunday crossed out
Ward Bulletins giving the announcement more clout

And hand outs in colorful creative papers
With magnets on back to stick-on frigermerators

Emails from the ward website telling all stay home
Make the Young Women leaders have call trees by phone

Then everyone here will know Sunday’s are GONE!

Then when she was finished with her cancelling work
She heard a loud voice that yelled,

“Boy, she’s a...

Jerking around she heard a voice with a coo
It was Cindy-Lou Who, whose family was new
And everyone knew, that those Who’s loved the U.

(All gasp)

Sister Grinch, Why? Why have you cancelled our Sundays now? Why?

For you’re my fav’rite teacher, but from Nurs’ry I grew
I love going on Sundays so that I can see you!

And what happened then? Well, in Utah they say
That Sister Grinch’s unkindness went clean away

And then the true meaning of Sunday came through
It wasn’t about wishing the noise would subdue
Or last minute lessons or the brothers who shove
It was being together in kindness and love

Sister Grinch then apologized and in the end
Everyone in the state was her very best friend!

Even the U-lovin’ Whos, who everyone knew
Although they would lose they refused to wear blue

She’d help families in church who had noisy tots
By bringing church quiet books and small lollipops

Kids that drew in the hymnbooks got an eraser
If a child ran away, she’d help the mom chase her

She loved to see all from the tall to the small
For kindness breeds kindness as a type of cure-all

She became known for her kindness wherever she went
And she, she herself, Sister Grinch was finally content.

That’s the end of the story my sweet little dears
And our delayed plane’s now not delayed it appears

(GRANDMA enters wearing a costume item that associates her with SISTER GRINCH. It is the same actor as SISTER GRINCH and is apparent that GRANDMA was SISTER GRINCH in the story)

There you are Grandma! Grandpa if you wouldn’t mind?
Tell her the story of Sister Grinch who’s unkind?

Oh I know that story. It’s a wise one and true.
I’m so glad he told that sweet story to you

But the plane is boarding, we must be on our way
I’ll have Grandpa tell me the tale some other day

(The children run off and Grandpa puts his arm around Grandma and they exit. Curtain)


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